I was checking out one of my favorite blogs today – Jamie @ The Perpetual Page-Turner and saw an awesome post she put up about being married to a non-reader and what a good choice for topic since I share the same situation! So for my Thursday Book Talk I thought I would talk this through with you — and I would LOVE to hear your feedback too!
Jamie started with a little background on herself and her husband so I’ll do the same..
My husband’s name is David and we have been married for 10 years this December (we were babies when we got married!). I have been off and on “obsessed” with books over the years, but since I found “Twilight” I have been pretty constant in my love of books. Once I read that, I literally couldn’t get enough books.. I LOVE going to the book store and just “looking” although this makes him nuts.. About 4 years ago he and my mom got me Kindle for Christmas and then it was on — i could just click and buy a book on demand (WHAT??) – I literally couldn’t help myself! To be honest my book spending got a little out of hand (this is all pre-blog). Anyways, I am rambling a little — so fast foward to this year and aroud New Years I started finding all these awesome YA book blogs while searching for my next “big read” – I guess I always thought they could be there but until I was really searching for stuff to read, I never went to one – and then I was in love. The blog that actually inspired me to start blogging was Jamie’s (http://www.perpetualpageturner.com/2013/07/married-to-a-non-reader.html#comment-109052 ) – I highly advise you check it out and then one day I did it, I spent a day setting it up, getting an email, adding a community FB page and finding out how to get books to review in coming Netgalley and Edelweiss. Wow. This totally took me from an obsessive reader to an obsessive reader with more books and actual deadlines on reaviews! At first, I have to admit that my husbad was a little peeved (I already had more than enough books and read most of the time, I work a TON, and he i’m sure was guessing this would take my little time left for him).. But I made sure we made it work and of course he knows I love it and now is a full supporter. He even subscribed to my blog just to see what I was up to and posting (so sweet, right??). So I have the best husband, David if you read this – you are the best! He puts up with me complaining about too many books, not enough books, so many reviews, pressure to post stuff, not getting the ARC’s I want, being excited about something coming up, complaining about books I don’t like or frustrated with a storyline..and swooning over stories and characters I love. He sits through movies with me for books I love and listens patiently as I say..that’s not how the books was, or I love how they did that. He doesn’t complain when basically go through the whole book for him before the movie starts and doesn’t complain when I get roudy over something I am frustrated about (note: My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult) During “My Sister’s Keeper” the movie I got so mad at the ending I literally made a fairly loud noise and immediately started compalining before the credits roled. Now, I know he was probably embarrassed but he let me rant, and rant for days at that before he said… maybe that’s enough? He endured my phone calls to my fellow readers about this too, new frustration and probably same discussion with each one.. I think I’m rambling again, but the point of the story is that he is amazing. I know he loves me because he’s willing to take in my bookish obsession like it’s a part of me and wouldn’t ever think of taking it away or wanting me to be different. I am quirky about opinionated about my books, and he still loves me!
How I make it work
Like Jamie, I read while he games, or watches sports. I read while he plays golf.. I never mind okaying a golf outing because that is 4-6 hours of guilt free reading or blogging! I also am a night owl so while he sleeps I read and blog. It works for us, I try to always keep in mind that he wants to actually talk to me too – not just watch me read – so we spend “book and blog free” time each night. I also try to not blog/read on nights when I have to work at home, doing both doesn’t leave time to spend with them (which is the most important thing!).
Perks of being married to a non-reader:
1. I don’t really have to share shelf space or a kindle with him
2. Since he does play golf and game – it gives me $ to spend on books
3. He can always find something else to look at while we’re at a book store and I don’t feel rushed
4. My endless hours of pouring through online blogs and Amazon to find the “next great read” don’t bother him
5. He is “ok” with me typing furiously at my desk behind our couch which alloows me to be in the same room and sort of watch tv with him together
6. He has a man cave that is a “reading free and woman free zone” so he can always get away and i have absolutely guilt free time to read
7. He really loves me – so he deals with my quirkls
8. He listens to me swoon and vent about books I love and sometimes entire stories I feel like he “has” to hear..
9. He is OK with me being mildy..well more than mildy obsessed with YA literature, especially paranormal and romances
10. He has accepted that I am a Team Edward fan – even understanding my obsessive need to got o Forks, WA (Yes, i really went there!)
From His Point Of View
He’s not here right now to speak for himself – but if he could I think he would say —
1. He feels like sometimes he has to share me with books and work…
2. I totally zone out when I read and it’s hard to listen or pay attention to him at all
3. I talk soo much about books
4. I obsess over my blog and it’s something I don’t get paid for (he thinks I’m working so hard on this for what money.. Of course it’s for my love of books and I always try to remind him of all the dollars he’s saving by me reviewing and getting ARC copies!)
Not sure on the rest, i’m sure there are more… but you get the jist..
Now let’s chat:
Are you married or in a relationship with a reader or non-reader? How does it work? How do you make everything flow? Are they supportive and doy ou also have a blog you work on in addition to the books! Talk to me!!